A reply, :))

oh my goodness lydia.
everything u said, every knowledge you got, i have recieve them before you DURING THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES IN MY LIFE!

during worship, during prayer . God has time and time again reminded me that, when your most precious thing is given to God to take hold. that is when you will draw closer to Him . Yes it sounded ironic of the way humans, us, works. but sometimes its really true that we humans are self centred when we have everything.

He also reminded me that when we allow Him to take control He will not destroy but to work it out for us and make the picture clearer then ever.

and yea, yesterday talk went a little side tracked, we went on talking about that previous girl.
im sure you know :)
how he realize that when he first told ben that she was the one and then told ben again i was the one.
he realize that when he first put the list beside her, it all fit , why? because his list was wrong.
his list is based on WHO HE WANTS TO BE , not who he wants to be with...
which made me really think the whole night was i the rebound girl or what so ever, but i cleared it up with him already.
and he also agreed that it is my decision that if i want to open my options, but he has made it clear that he will wait for me, and that is something that i really dont know what to do... i've got to pray... and talk to a few girls.
 eg, our female pastor and our very old and faithful cell leader :)

and as i was saying, to be truthful k, i have open my options to ONE guy. why?
because i was attracted to his testimony , when he cried during the secret place before examinations.
( im pretty sure you guess who by now.)
i have never been attracted to his looks ever, not even today. it was just his spiritual side that attracted me.
which fit the first list.
and waimun came along.. and fit all other 2nd and on ward list.
then from then on i really told God i dont know, because first of all, i dont like ,like attracted like? you know? like like? haha , anyway, to the worship leader dude.
but i was attracted to wm for firstly his kindness of buying me the cookie from bundung, and after that incidence everything just fit into place for me to know him.
but i really dont know if i was holding the pen and writing the love story myself, because i really dont know.
maybe we made it possible ourself to know each other? i dont know.

then okay so it goes on and on and on, until 2 nights ago. my youth devotion was talking about the 10 commandment, "Do not commit adultery."
why God gave this command was because He was faithful and pure himself, and thus as children of God and us who is called to be in the likeness of God, we have to be faithful and pure ourself and in my situation, is not to think of being with other guys but with your own guy. to stay faithful and pure to God first then to your earthy prince, my heart was comforted by that, a little reassured that wm was the one.
but i still really dont know.

yesterday wm shared the same thing as my devotion too, about being faithful, and it was in one of his devotion too. or you can called it the couple devotion that we do ==" hahaha. yes it is a couple devotion book pass on by the mum and dad hahah :)
anyway but i still really dont know.
and he goes on sharing about the yearning, wanting in his heart to be able to help out in the youth ministry because of the lack of people. but he was afraid of not being able to handle it well.
esp as a mentor or leader or so on. because daniel opened a few choices for him and he have to choose it himself.
and that was one of the thing i want to find in my earthy prince. but i wouldnt tick it right now because i have yet to know the outcome, maybe that was one of the mistake we did. to move things too fast , we're trying to slow down already, im bringing up the talk about hands holding tomorrow, we discuss it last year and we said we are going to lessen it step by step as we concentrate and walk with God this year .

and yea so now i really dont know, but im really agreeing with you on the fact that we should let God hold the pen, and its really going to be hard, been there a few times, failed in the end.
but yea God is not and never forcing our choice, like dani says God is a gentlemen
and also i was just reminded that if we keep our hands full we can never recieve what God wants to give us,
unless we empty our hands....

yeap, well let me know when u made the decision, and...yea we will work hand in hand with God, praying for each other!! :) and walking step by step together YET individually and specially with God :)))

- Janicee
Love you Lydia and jiayouuu :)))