Apologizes

hey Lydia,

im really sorry i haven been online for the past few days, i haven been on-ing my computer because i really have no time.
homeworks and assignment are rushing me . and there are even research given and due next day first thing in the morning.
(esp. the debating class thing im working on now, about nuclear energy.) goodness!!

I'm so stress and this is just the beginning. because after chinese new year, teachers will be fighting for remedial lessons and im going to start staying in school till 5 or 6 and extra few more class on saturdays! ahhhh! :(((
horrible horrible. but i know God is going to pull me through as long as i cooperate with Him :)))

hahah anyway, about wm and me.
talk to Dani about it, she ask me. what was my top priority now and i said studies and God.
and she was telling me how not to waste my youth not focusing on God.

and if i were and want to go full out for God. i  have to be free from all commitments with waimun
means i cant even have the commitment of me saying that im going to get together in the future with him,
and then i talk to wm, i told him, if im going full out for God.
dont wait for me, find someone else. because i will never know when will i ever be ready and by then it would be unfair to him. so yea.

he rejected the idea, he flare up, he was hurt. he was.. not sleeping
he couldnt sleep , it was just raining both in yishun and novena, but novena was raining literally and emotionally with real tears.

not saying im not hurting in the inside, i am, but i wouldnt want to drop a tear because i know this is for God.
not for my gain but for God's gain.
so yea.

friday we are going to have a talk with daniel and dani, wm and me.
i dont know how will it turn out.
and all of them, seems to say. the decisions all lies with me..
i dont know what to do im so stress from school and dance and time and i'm getting hurt.

i dont want suggestions i dont want comments, i dont want words of wisdom
i just want someone to talk to and tell me everything will be alright.
i need someone to hug me...
i just dont know anymore.

hahahahhah anyway, yea talking about studies i need to start researching,
im getting lack of sleep and yea, my mum says i look very tired everyday and yeap
I HAVE CHINESE TUTION NOW hahahah :))
china teacher, not bad eh? :))
hehe anyway, all the best in Aussie and i know that today is Happy Australlia Day.
hehe although you're not an Austrillian i hope today has been a great day for you sweetie :))

anyway, you should be sleeping now and i shall wish you a belated Good Night and Sweet Dream :))
God Bless You Lydia :)

With Much Love,
Janice :)