Rules VS Relationship

Well, i guess your talk with wm went well. Though there isnt really a conclusion yet, just a pause. Which reminds me, i have yet to talk to ben. Haha! Just to update, ben just read his email (which is wrote about telling my mum and stuff like that), i didnt expect him to read it till friday or saturday though. Anyway, he is feeling insecure, cause i told him i have stuff to tak to him about, like discuss, and he says he feels as though something is about to change. Well, something is about to change, but i reassured him that whatever i am doing, it is to ensure our relationship is secured, GODLY secured.
did i say the correct thing to him?

anyway, i am guilty that though i had a lot fo slacking time today, i didnt really read "when God writes your love story..." sigh, i seem to keep on getting distracted! as if someone or something doesnt want me to continue reading it, even though i am seriously engross in this book!

okay, so i read this chapter already (completed it yesterday night though) HAHA!
the chapter is called, "Rules VS Relationship"

so leslie (the female author) was talking about she setting 2 main rules when in a relationship or about to be in one:
1. Dont have sex till marriage
2. Make sure you date Christian guys that also believe in rule 1.
(okay, kinda short and lousy list, but yeah....ANYWAY!)

so, she somehow figured out that as long as she follow the rules, the dating life of hers is up to her. so ya, she went on from guy to guy. However, she felt distant from God. Last time, according to her, she had placed her hope and confidence in her relationship with Christ, but now she is just desperately clinging on to each relationship she has for a sense of security and purpose. however, her emotions were destroyed.

This is what she wrote,
" The cutting, brutal pain of ending a relationship, no matter how serious or shallow it had been, drove me to constantly lower my "christian" standards and bend the rules as much as possible, so as to somehow hold on to each guy who came into my life. I began to view purity as the edge of a cliff. "as long as i dont fall off the edge of the cliff, i'm fine," i would tell myself. I began to inch closer and closer to the precipice, giving more and more of my physical purity away... With every step close to the edge of the cliff, i had lost some thing precious. Maybe i wasnt sleeping with a new guy every weekend. But i was certainly giving my heart, mind, emotions and body away to a series of guys..."
(NOTE: im not saying we have a series of guys, but what she said really hit me and its like true if we get confused up by our mindset. Like setting rules but not holding on to the real purpose and reason for all your are doing to save your purity)

Well, im going to cut some parts short. So she realise she was wrong, cry out in desperation and realised that God is the author of love. but you know, when we say God is the author of our love life and let go, we do have doubt right like "what if we marry the wrong person?" or "how will i know that he is the right one?"yea, but then after much struggles, she let go.

However, something else she wrote also hit me.
"My God written story began at that moment. God took the pen from my trembling hand and began scripting the most incredible tale imaginable. No, my future husband did not show up at my front door right then. but from that day on, God began healing and restoring the pain of my mistakes and molding and preparing me for true love. Before eric came into my life, God had some important foundation stones to lay in place..."

(seriously, when i read this, i had doubts. what is ben is just a passing phase?!?! i felt terrible...)

anyway, i continue reading the chapter of "rules VS relationship" and the next part i arrive was about piority check.

so ya, lets say we let go of the pen and let God write our love story, what are we suppose to be doing? Like, we cant be slacking around or waiting for a man to drop from the sky. Surely, we have to do something. (i guess this is why ben doesnt really believe in the statement, "if God wants you to be with someone, it will just happen." cause he says it invites a lot of complacency....) Well, i guess that is true, but i have something to add on, "if God wants you to be with someone, it will not just happen. Definitely, you have to release the pen and rely on God, but during that period, do not try to build God into your life, but build your life around God."

Anyway, whatever the author said next, in a way, is what Dani said to us. How do we know God's will for us? By being in a deep relationship with Him first! So if we want to know whether the guy is right or not, we need a deep relationship with God first. Thus, our piority is to strengthen our relationship with God and not skip the step. So, if we want answers from God, we have to pursue God first. Not the man. And seeking Him isnt just a read the bible everyday thing, but a genuine seeking God and just dwelling in His presence and earnestly SEEK Him!

Anyway, i like how the author relied on God and how they drawed close to each other. Eric and Leslie met via being very close friends. they drew close to each other by being excited about sharing about God!They spent hours talking about their King and their faith. And God just guided them into a romantic relationship with Him in the centre! Then the author wrote that many times, we are so caught up in our feelings for the other person that we unwittinfly squeeze God into the background. This becomes confusing and we wonder why God isnt giving us directions. Hence, only when God is truly first place are we ready for a God written love story.

Oh and the author then talks about rules in a relationship (important topic!) and she gave an example of a couple, their relationship ended up disastrous. anyway, the summary of the topic is no matter how many rules we make for ourselves, rules dont create godly relationsjop. only leaning on God and allowing Him to guide and direct every part of our existence will set the stage for a beautiful romance!

Next, there was this analogy of a kid. you know, when our parents tell us to do the dishes or something, we tend to whine and like be annoyed, but we still do it. However, there are time we want to please our parents and show them how much we love them and thus do the dishes willingly without telling them!  Likewise, if obeying God is a chore, it becomes a lifeless act of drudgery and we complain the whole way through. We will feel that God is like making our life miserable. However, when we learn who God really is and we base our decision on a passionate love for Him, we find joy and delight in our obedience. We even want to go that extra mile for Him.

***
That was the chapter, in short. Sorry for writing so long. Maybe you know all of this already, but then again, let this be a reminder to both of us k?

Yea, so i really dont want to just put God in my background, i really want Him to be the pillar.

You know when i told my mum about me and ben, she also made a statement, "you think you might be very mature, but you arent ready yet, you arent fully matured yet..." that really struck me. Maybe God wants us (me and ben, or even you and wm) to put a pause first and work on our Christian life. You know, to earnestly seek God and let God groom all of us to be better for each other.

God's plan is greater than us.

That reminds me of what i read in daily bread. They said that God's word is like a head light of a car. It doesnt shine the entire journey, but it shine bright enough for us to move forward and prevent us from falling down or going into any ditches or whatever! Only God can see the entire journey. So i guess we can only trust in Him?!

Well, my talk is still in the weekends. I have more time to let God speak to me.
I hope things are bright at your side!

Do encourage me and pray for me! Im praying for you too!

Lots of Love,
Lydia.